Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
