I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
