You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
