I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
