Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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