Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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