I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
