ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
