You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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