i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
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i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
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FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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