just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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