so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I still have a little drunk in my system
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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