pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
