Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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