I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
