If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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