I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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