its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
