she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
