Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize