no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
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