is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
