the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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