I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
