just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
