first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
