im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
