Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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