i permit you to call me
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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