ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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