Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
