I cockslap morals
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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