i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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