I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize