you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
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Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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