we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize