he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize