go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
