I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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