Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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