she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
