I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
