He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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