I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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