I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
