as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
