Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
