So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
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I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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