dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She tied me up with her honor cords...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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