How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Someone came in the potted fern
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Floor bacon is actually really good
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I have post one night stand depression
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