Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize