I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
