wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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