Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
