You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
