do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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