You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
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